Divorce for the Children’s Sake?
Divorce is usually a very difficult time in people’s lives. They are ending a relationship and life they have known for some time. This also means acknowledging the love is gone between them. For many, this is the most difficult to deal with. No one wants to face the fact they are no longer loved by someone they have loved or currently still love. This is why many dioceses are so nasty. One party is so hurt they feel the need to make the other as miserable as they are.
When you add children into the picture, emotions will run even higher. The divorcing couple now has to deal with custody and visitation rights. The family unit has changed forever. Even if one or both parents remarry in the future, the children will still never have their mother and father together the way it was. A lot of kids have great emotional stress as a result.
Always Remain Friendly
Some people say it is best to remain married if a couple has children. This is usually a huge mistake. Couples that remain together for the sake of children many times have huge arguments, affairs, and sometimes even grow to resent their kids. In these instances, a divorce may be better mentally for the kids. However, the couple will need to do their best to remain friendly and supportive towards each other. This support allows the children to view both parents equally and not feel like one is the “bad guy” in the situation.
Children Know More Than You Think – Talk to Them Openly
In this age of mass media, 24-Hour news, and the internet, kids are far more aware of life’s events, including divorce. Couples planning to proceed with a divorce, need to sit down with their child and openly discuss the changes that are about to take place. It is also very important he or she knows it had nothing to do with them. Kids that have been included and prepared for their parent’s decision to end the marriage, will fare much better than children that were left in the dark until the last minute. Reassurance is the key here.
Even the most cordial divorces are not without some heartbreak, especially for children. Many times a divorce will lead to feelings of fault and/or abandonment. However, speaking honestly and openly to the kids and letting them know they are loved by both parents, makes a big difference on their emotional health. Also, remain friendly with the ex and never talk negatively about them to the children. This behavior will only harm them in the end.